God, Please Send Me Broadband

Today I went back to Deo Deo electronics store to sign up for Yahoo! BB internet. Yesterday, I attempted the same mission, but learned that I couldn't sign up for service without my full address. You see, I knew most of my address, but not my zip code, and I tried to explain this to the Yahoo BB man in Japanese, without knowledge of the word for zip code in Japanese. He told me the word was "banchi," and that I needed to find it before they could give me service. I went away dejected, but determined. As soon as I got home, I went to the Marin Drugstore underneath my apartment and asked them what the "banchi" was there. I soon realized that the banchi was not the number I was missing, that banchi didn't mean zip code at all. I tried in my best awful Japanese to explain to them the number I was refering to. This went on for about 10 minutes, and now several customers were participating in the game of "figure out what the crazy foreign girl is saying." Eventually I asked them if they had a letter, and physically pointed out the number on the envelope. This worked. I wrote down the number. I was stoked, and kind of proud. So needless to say, on my trip to Deo Deo today, I had the highest of hopes. I knew all the important numbers, I had my pre-alien card authorization paper, which a friend had told me I might not even need, my passport, and a smile. Right outside of Deo Deo, I ran into my blockhead, Brandon, who was on his way in as well to get a new phone, and he offered to help with my internet acquisition. But I just chuckled and said not to worry, I had it covered. I got to the service desk, and saw the same few employees I had spoken with the previous day, one of whom was a rather unattractive girl with a terrible mascara problem, and the other was a tall, good looking Japanese guy who was clearly in charge. Let me take a moment to say that he is probably the first man I have found attractive since entering this god-forsaken country. Anyway, they asked me for my gaijin card, and I told them that I didnt have it yet, but that I had the pre-card authorization paper, and handed it over, along with my passport. I heard a jumble of "dekinai"s, (cant do it) and a knot started to form in my stomach. After making about 5 phone calls, consulting a few other employees, looking something up in the computer, and just looking generally troubled, they told me they couldn't give me internet without my gaijin card, because they needed it to set up the phone line that the internet would be connected to. Now, you may be wondering why I would need a phone line in the first place to get high-speed internet, and to explain that would involve a detailed discourse on what is wrong with Japan. So I'll leave it at "it's complicated." Basically, what this all means is that I won't even be able to apply for internet until September 1st, when my gaijin card arrives (assuming it arrives on time). It then takes up to two weeks after the application date to start the services. Awesome.

Amongst all this confusion, Brandon noticed my distress and invited me over to his place to use his internet. So I am blogging from his laptop, and he is making us some dinner, which I am stoked about. I had an apple for lunch. That sounds like nothing, but if you could see the apples in Japan, you would crap your pants. They are huuuuuge. It took me 10 minutes to eat this thing, no joke. All the fruit here is like that. There are melons here that sell for $100 in department stores. An apple is about 200 yen, or $1.80, which sounds like a lot, but if you were to weigh it and charge by American standards it would probably cost the same. And they're perfect, but I have to rest somewhere in the middle.

There is a floor hockey game in an hour or so that a few of the Kure City JETs organized, so I think I will go to that. Tomorrow I am off to Saijo in central Hiroshima for a week of Japanese language and culture training. Hopefully the hotel will have free internet. Woot.